Prince in the Future

Sabtu, 30 Mei 2009

It's my tale which was I wrote when English praticum test. Enjoy it and leave me comment

Once upon a time in a far away land lived a young and handsome prince, whose name was Roran. He had everything in the world gold, lands, and people who loved him, but he didn’t have a mate. Many girls were dying to marry him, but Prince Roran didn’t feel right about ‘em because he needed someone who glowed form inside.

One day, to kill boredom, the Prince walked alone to the forest. He listened to the nightingale singing and for a while he forgot his worried about his problem not having a wife yet. Suddenly he saw old woman lied on the forest. He thought the old woman was die, but when he check her, she still alive and she said “ Oh, Your Majesty, I’m so hungry . Can you give me some food?”.

Then the Price gave the old woman an apple and bread which he brought. She ate it hastily like she never ate for 2 days. After had finished eating, she said to the Prince, “Thanks for your kindness, well I will give you something good”. Then she snapped her finger than the Prince was gone from the forest.

The Prince felt the world spinning round and round, then he’s blackout. When he finally woke up , he felt kinds of dizzy. So he sat for a little while, but when he already felt alright he couldn’t believe what his eyes had saw. The buildings were taller than a palace that he was used to live. There’s a ride without horse and it was faster than what he usually get in.” What a strange world that I visit”, thought the Prince. Then he saw a man with black suit and a cap (police , but the price don’t know it ) , then he said “ I will give you a land if you could take me to my palace”. The police laughed and he said “ Who are you? Are you a prince from Magical Land, just go to your circus man”. The police thought the prince were a man from circus and got drunk.

Frustrated with the police, he asked anyone else, but what he’d got just laughter and mock. “ Heaven Help, please take me back to the place where I belong to”, prayed the Prince. Suddenly he saw a girl, not really beautiful as the princess he used to see but she had something interesting with her, annoyed by people who brought black things with flash light ( it’s a paparazzi) . Then he tried to save her, he kick ‘em and broke their camera.

The girl thanked to the prince, and she introduced her name. She’s Amy a new it girl from this town. Everybody wanted to know her life , know her daily, know her opinion. Then She said “ Do you comes from what circus?
Then the prince shook his head and told his story. Amy understand that, and to pay Prince kindness she offered the prince place to sleep.

Lived with Amy was a wonderful day for the Prince. He never met such a lovely girl yet smart . She gave him new shirt , made a delicious food, and singing for him. He thought that he was fall in love with her. Then someday , when the full moon was shining the world, the Prince asked Amy to do a waltz. Amy refused it , but the Price kept asking her, then she said yes. They moved slowly, and the prince saw Amy at her eyes. Then he said “ I don’t know ,when will I go back to my time, but I will remember this time, time when I dance with somebody I love. Amy blushed for a little while then she said ‘ I will remember this”. They kept moving, moving then they stopped and kissed. Suddenly the price body was fade and finally he disappeared.

The Prince was sad, and so did Amy. But they never forgot each other. 10 year laters, the prince had married with another princess and had 3 kids. Meanwhile Amy never got married cause she’s too fall in love with the prince. And , when the full moon shined, the prince will go to the forest alone, ( Amy go to the balcony). And they danced on their own cause they never forgot when they danced with somebody they love.

What da ya think. Whike you red this story just listen to this song

High School Musical - Can I Have This Dance


I think that song are suits for the dancing scene. Dont forget to leave me comment

2 comments:

FITRI MAHARANI mengatakan...

you want an editorial notes, there you go.
Overall, it's good. The prince coming from a different time and the dancing under the moonlight, are big cliches. but I can't see how you can come up with a love story without being a little corny. But you did it good tho, with lots of variation and different details.

oh, n of course the song is marvy.

FITRI MAHARANI mengatakan...

you want an editorial notes, there you go.
Overall, it's good. The prince coming from a different time and the dancing under the moonlight, are big cliches. but I can't see how you can come up with a love story without being a little corny. But you did it good tho, with lots of variation and different details. But your grammar needs serious correction. The story could've been written more beautifully (yaknow how I've always been with poetic words) and longer. And it lacks some certain emotion from the dialog (which there isn't much of it).

oh, n of course the song is marvy.

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